I want my 'INDEPENDENCE'

The Constitution of India came into force & India declared itself a Republic on January 26, 1950

As a child I always had a difficult time remembering dates of Republic Day, Independence Day, and the like. But now, I can't forget. I can't forget January 26, 2009. Fifty-nine years have not changed the way Indians celebrate Republic Day. But, for me Republic Day is different. It has a different meaning, a totally different meaning, for me now.

It was the day my 'forced-resignation letter' was being keyed in at office!

YES! I got it a day after the tri-colour fever gripped the nation. F*** FREEDOM, I thought! Just when I was finally settled.

Today, as I sat down to blog, the picture of the little money plant sapling I placed on my office desk, came to my mind. It was a joy, I must admit, coming to office and looking at the plant grow every day. The day I left office, I took it along. Can't bear to leave it to die there, there where only sweet-poison can grow to its full glory.

As days passed, each little leaf began to turn yellow. As if, it got a 'pink-slip' too! I tried a lot. A lot, indeed -- but I was not quick enough. It died very soon, long before I got another 'job'. I began to grow remorseful. I was the reason for its death. Since, if I had been 'good-enough' at work, I wouldn't have been asked to 'leave' and it could have stayed there too, alive. Only if I knew how much good makes it 'good-enough'.

This is when I knew I had to do something. Something fast! Something, anything!

"Why do you want to join us if you haven't been thrown out yet?"

"You say your designing is fab. Then why didn't they like your job?"

"They are still working. I see their paper still. Why did you get it then?"

"Can you show me the salary slip for this month?"

YES SURE... as if I was the reason MetroNow downed shutters!!

That was it. I cut the crap and sat home. Learned making round-rotis, instead! But how long, I thought to myself. This was when I started reading 'How the Mighty Fall' by Jim Collins. "Whether you prevail or fail depends more on what you do to yourself than what the world does to you," the author said.

My life has been a shuttle-cork -- from, Delhi to Orissa, from Orissa to Delhi, from Delhi to Patna, from Patna to Delhi, MidDay to MetroNow, MetroNow to an online company. Three years into journalism, I've been torn to pieces, but still haven't found my place yet. I have had enough and I want to stop. I want my 'INDEPENDENCE'. No more 'REPUBLIC' days for me -- please god, please!